What I Learned from My Sexual Assault

I believed lies about my sexual assault.

After my sexual assault, I shamed myself, I was disgusted, and I told myself that I deserved it. I believed all these lies about myself. My toxic self-criticism damaged my relationship with self-love.

I am stronger than my trauma.

My trauma consumed me. I hid my sexual assault for three years. I refused to open that door and release myself from the self-sabotage cycle. Once I made the step to begin my healing with EMDR therapy, I began to recognize my significant role in improving my mental health. With a year of EMDR therapy, I finally began to understand that I am resilient.

It is not my fault, and I was not the cause.

I said “no” and “please stop”, these words are not meant to be ignored. I was under the influence but that doesn’t mean I was asking for it. Just because I had feelings for that person doesn’t mean they get the green light. Consent needs to be mutual. Consent is respecting boundaries.

My trauma does not define me.

I do not pity myself. I do not see myself as damaged goods or someone that is less than. My trauma does not consume me. I am confident in my identity, and I am aware of my greatness.

Healing takes time.

Time will heal all wounds. I was so impatient during my healing process. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just get over it already. Honoring your emotions is vital in your healing process. Once I accepted that speaking out relieves the weight, the healing process seemed to speed up.

I choose to live for me.

Life is consistently changing, and I will too. I hold the power in my purpose. My mind, body, and soul are connected and balanced. With the help of daily journaling and reflection, I am confident in my meaning.