No one ever imagines they’d be trapped in an abusive relationship and few actually get out. I had been in an abusive situation for over three years. I kept thinking that it would get better, that maybe if I did this, or if I did that, it would change. The verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse was becoming unbearable. It gradually got worse and worse. Until it exploded.
He had left the home and I was constantly in fear. Even without him there his threats were everywhere. He was stalking the house and would show up at night banging on windows, forcing his way inside, threatening us if we did not remove the chain from the door. He would also stalk me when I was out of the house running errands. Knowing he owned multiple firearms, I would barricade our bedroom door at night, fearing for the worst. I was in fear all of the time for my family’s life.
The threats started that he was moving back in… I could no longer keep my daughter safe from his physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. I would not watch her helplessly go through it hiding and fighting for her own safety any longer. The damage had been done to us both but I knew I still had a chance to end this before he killed us. I then made the hardest decision of my life.
I packed what I could and we flew to Tennessee to seek shelter and comfort with family. After going to the police stations and the court house trying to file for a restraining order I was led to the DVSAC. From the moment I walked into the Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault office, I was treated with kindness, respect, and understanding. An advocate at this office helped me – she gave us hope.
They were there for me every step of the way. They made the impossible possible. I was given so many services that helped me get to where I am today and stay safe here in Tennessee. They helped me get a wonderful place to live, a legal Order of Protection, an amazing lawyer, emotional support, clothing for court dates, recommendations for car repair, availability to see a therapist, furniture, help with budgeting, help to repair my credit, food drives, and so very much more. I practically lived at their office during the hardest and most stressful time of my life. I felt like I had a home away from home. I was always welcome and it felt more like my friends who cared about me rather than just an office.
The women at Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Center are the most amazing advocates. Without their care, guidance, and support I could not have gotten through this. They are all in my prayers every night and I feel like they are my guardian angels on earth. I owe my life to them.
To watch my daughter grow and thrive without fear and become an amazing, outgoing child is the priceless gift I have been given. She used to hide in her closet crying and wouldn’t talk out loud in fear of his abuse; she now sings and dances all day freely. She used to be afraid to go to bed, to sleep through the night, and was denied her belief in God; now she says her prayers and reads books in bed happy to have sweet dreams resting soundly throughout the night. She now gives hugs and kisses and says I love you. She has grown so much in such a small amount of time and is finally allowed to just be a child. She is starting to read and write and is so proud of herself.
It is not an easy road to do get out of an abusive relationship. But you don’t have to do it alone. I can only hope that by sharing a snippet of my story that I reach someone else who doesn’t know that they too can be free of abuse and be happy again. I can assure you that Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Center will be there with you every step of the way.
