January is National Stalking Awareness Month

The series titled You has recently brought to light stalkers and stalking behaviors. Joe Goldberg is the main character of You, the extremely popular TV series based on a series of novels by Caroline Kepnes which airs on Netflix. If you haven’t seen the show You in short (NO spoilers); Joe Goldberg wants you. Joe wants to know you, to protect you, to love you. And he’s not willing to leave your romance to chance, so even though you don’t know it, he follows you, he manipulates you, he controls you. Over time, the you Joe obsesses over changes but his belief in true love—and what he has to do to ensure it happens—never does.

While the show is completely fictional, viewers have often wondered if the depictions of Joe’s frighteningly shocking stalking behaviors in the show are accurate, or a common occurrence in real life. According to Susan Hatters Friedman, MD, Professor of Forensic Psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University, Joe’s behavior is an accurate representation of stalking and falls into several categories in the stalker typology.

In the United States, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 17 men have experienced stalking victimization in their lifetimes. Young people between the ages of 18-24 experience the highest rate of stalking. This is especially true of college students, who experience the highest rate of stalking but are less likely to report it.

What is stalking?

While legal definitions of stalking vary from one jurisdiction to another, a good working definition of stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.

Stalking involves behaviors towards a person that make them feel unsafe and typically occurs repeatedly and over an extended period of time. Someone who stalks may know their victim intimately, as in a former partner or loved one, or barely at all, as in a celebrity they’ve never met.

Stalking behaviors may include:

• Calling, Texting, or Emailing: One person may reach out to another, even if it goes unreciprocated and that is okay. However, it is not okay to repeatedly call, text, or email someone who has told you they don’t want to talk to you. Whether you’ve told someone not to contact you repeatedly or just once, if they continue to reach out, it can be considered stalking.
• Following: When a person follows you from one place to another, that is stalking. It doesn’t matter which places—it is stalking if someone follows you home from work, to a friend’s house, or anywhere else.
• Monitoring: When a person spies on you through GPS or other listening devices. This could be something placed on your car, an app on your phone, hacking into your computer, or placing cameras to watch your movements.
• Loitering: This is the act of hanging around a place, and it can be considered stalking if a person is doing so just because you are there. A person doesn’t need to try to communicate with you for it to be stalking. This behavior is tricky because the person stalking can claim they have reason to be somewhere when they don’t.
• Communication Through Others: Someone who is stalking you might find they are blocked from the ability to communicate. In this case, they may try to communicate with your family or friends through calls, texts, emails, or in person.
• Damage: Someone who is stalking may damage a person’s home or other property. This can be done with intent to harm, or to get the victim’s attention. If you’ve told someone you don’t want to speak to them, and their response is to damage your property, that is stalking.
• Threats: Someone who is stalking may tell their victim that they will do something harmful to the victim unless they are willing to engage with them. Any act of threatening another person or making them feel unsafe or harassed constitutes stalking.

Stalking Offenders

People who stalk often suffer from delusions and/or delusional thinking. According to the Stalking Awareness and Prevention Center, 2/3 of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week, many daily, using more than one method. 78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach. Weapons are used to harm or threaten victims in 1 out of 5 cases. Almost 1/3 of stalkers have stalked before, and intimate partner stalkers frequently approach their targets, and their behaviors escalate quickly.

The stalker typology is made up of five stalker types:

• Incompetent Stalkers: Incompetent stalkers want to establish an intimate relationship with the individual they’re stalking but recognize that their affections are not reciprocated. These individuals often have a poor understanding of dating rituals as well as a sense of entitlement to a relationship.

• Intimacy-seeking Stalkers: The goal of intimacy-seeking stalkers is to enter into a relationship with the person they’re stalking, who they believe is meant to be with them. While the target of stalking is certainly in danger from the intimacy-seeking stalker, Hatters Friedman adds that if “someone’s seen as getting in the way [of the relationship between the stalker and their target], they may be at risk from the stalker [too].”

• Predatory Stalkers: Predatory stalkers are planning to attack their victims and enjoy the sense of power the act of stalking gave them.

• Rejected Stalkers: Rejected stalkers stalk their victims in response to the dissolution of a former relationship, most often a former partner but sometimes a parent or friend. Rejected stalkers want both revenge for the rejection and reconciliation with the person who rejected them, with their inclination toward both impulses changing on a regular basis.

• Resentful Stalkers: A resentful stalkers’ goal is to intimidate and frighten. Some choose specific victims while others choose random victims based on a general sense of injustice and grievance with the world.

January is National Stalking Awareness Month

January 2022 marks the eighteenth annual National Stalking Awareness Month (NSAM), an annual call to action to recognize and respond to the serious crime of stalking.

To honor NSAM 2022, spend some time checking out the educational resources from the Stalking Awareness and Prevent Center: Action Guide, To-Do List, and Community Pledge.

DVSAC serves Victims of Stalking

If you or someone you know is the victim of stalking, we are here to help. We can assist in safety planning, writing a legal Order of Protection, securing safety in shelter, or just discuss your options.

Call our office at (615) 896-7377 to speak with an advocate or learn more about our services here.